One year ago today....

...we sent in our dossier and officially became "paper pregnant!"

I can't believe it's been a year. I will never forget going to the post office that day, in the pouring rain, clutching the most important package I had ever sent. I insured it, got tracking on it, etc...I was freaking out until our agency e-mailed the next day to say they received it and the process that led us to Drew began...

At that time, I couldn't even fathom Drew. The thought of an actual little boy in our house was just beyond comprehension. It's almost impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't gone through infertility, but the idea of actually having a child was just a concept I couldn't imagine.

But mailing that package was the begining of actually making our dreams come true. It was, finally, a positive step toward having a child, rather than the endless disappointments we'd faced for years...amazing what one piece of mail can mean, huh?? :)

I often wonder, when I'm feeling particularly introspective, what if we'd sent in our dossier two weeks earlier, or two weeks later - would Drew be our son? What if we hadn't fought to get our dossier pulled from Almaty and had just gone there instead of fighting it and ending up in Taraz? What if we had arrived in Taraz two days earlier, before all the Belgian families arrived? What if we'd requested a child of a specific gender or race, rather than leaving it to fate?

So many what ifs...

When I started this process everyone told me you end up with the child meant to be yours - I didn't believe them. But I do now...there's no doubt Drew was meant to be our child.

It's amazing what can happen in a year isn't it????