Monday, December 29, 2008

The End....

Well - it's three days until a new year begins so it's time to offically end this blog, which has been a part of my life since April 2007. I started it when we handed in our dossier figuring it would help keep me busy during our waiting period and would be a good way to update family and friends during our time in Kazakhstan. It went on to become a way to share all of Drew's first experiences with everyone - all of the first holidays, his first birthday in the US, milestones like walking, jumping, talking and potty training and all of the other parts of Drew's life.

There are no words to express the gratitude I feel toward family and friends too numerous to name for fear of leaving anyone out. Thank you for following our journey, and thank you mostly for caring about our little boy and wanting to know what he's up to...

As I end this, Drew just turned 2 1/2 - his speech is coming along amazingly, he's using the potty consistantly, he's starting gymnastics classes next month, he's becoming very bossy and questioning "why" all the time...he's just an amazing child! He makes me laugh every day...and even when's he's driving me crazy, I am more thankful than he could ever know that he is my child...

So - thanks to everyone who's still reading this. Thank you for sharing this part of our lives.

And now to Drew - who I hope someday will read this and learn a little about his history and his journey to becoming our son...

Dear Drew,

Mommy began this blog about six months before we left for Kazakhstan to meet you. It details all of our time in Kazakhstan, as well as the first year of your life at home with us. I hope that you enjoy reading this for years to come and through it learn about lots of things you would have been too young to remember.

I hope through it you will see how much you are loved and how much you were wanted - not only by Daddy and me, but by your brothers, your grandparents, your aunts, uncles and cousins and many other family members and friends. We are all so lucky to have you in our lives.

So this is what I hope for you as you grow up...

I hope that you know you are unconditionally loved every day of your life. We may not always like things that you do or choices you make, but we will always love you and be there for you.

I hope that you are proud of who you are. Proud to be American. Proud to be Kazakh, Proud to be Jewish, and Proud to be Drew Sebastian Esatai Sanders. I hope that Daddy and I have been able to teach you about your birth culture and make it a part of your life. We are so proud of who you are and where you come from.

I hope that we have been able to answer all the questions you may have about your past and where you came from. We will always tell you the truth and will give you all the information we have about you. I hope that you get as many answers as possible to what I'm sure will be your many questions. I hope you know how thankful we are to your birthmother for the gift she has given us. She will forever hold a special place in our hearts.

I hope that you continue to have the strong personality you have now - it will serve you well. Never be afraid to express your opinions, your fears or your dreams. Never be afraid to be who you are.

I hope that you continue to have the infectious smile and laugh that you have now. You have the best smile and laugh in the world, my little boy, I hope to see it every day of your life.

I love you so much Drew...thank you for making me a Mommy - you are the best gift I ever received.

When I first started this blog, I put up a short poem, so it seems an appropriate way to end this:

Not flesh or my flesh
Not bone of my bone
But nonetheless my very own
Never forget for a single minute, that you didn't grow under my heart, but in it...


Deb-DnD said...

Ah Beth, a final post? So sad, but also understandable. Life gets very busy when you're both childrearing and working - the daily minutes available to share with your son become precious and few.

You brought tears to my eyes with your letter to Drew.

It's so heartwarming to see you all continue to grow as a happy family, and such a privilege to have been given a amall glimpse into your journey. Thank you.

Thank you also for the support and information you gave me in my family's early stages of adopting. Our first trip to Karaganda will start on Feb 16. It's hard to believe that in about 18 months, I too will be reflecting upon the first year with our newly adopted child.

Beth, Patrick and Drew, you have my famly's heartfelt wishes that your life will continue to grow to be fulfilling, happy and complete. I am certain that years from now when I reflect on our own adoption, your journey will continue to hold a special place in my heart as one that inspired and motivated me to keep my eye on the prize - our family's destiny.

Be well.

Deb Murray we come... said...

Deb - I just read your comment - thank you much! :) You must be so excited to begin your journey - I wish you a wonderful trip to Kaz...enjoy the experience and soak it all in!